More news from Greece

August 21st

What happened with my maybe-boss, you ask?
Well, he is still my maybe-boss.

Knowing that the bosses usually don't go to work too early, I waited until 10.30am to call his office on Monday. He wasn't in yet, could I call back around noon? I did. He still wasn't in, could I call back after 2 pm? I did. He still wasn't in, in fact they weren't sure he would be coming in at all, maybe I should call back the next day...

Today I called at 10 am, but that was clearly a barbaric hour for the Greeks: there wasn't even a secretary to answer the phone. By 10.30, she was in, but her boss wasn't. Could I... Try later, I asked? But of course. By 11.30, he still wasn't there. But there was progress this time: I was asked for my phone number so they could call me back. It is now close to 1 pm. I have of course not been called back yet.

I forgot to mention my other main activity of the past 2 weeks: I have also been fighting a lot, or rather I have been yelled at a lot. I have been yelled at by a government official because I said that I had been trying to get my Greek nationality for the last 10 years, and had the audacity to suggest that this implied a less than efficient system. To be fair, he then proceeded to make some documents for me for which he waived the usual fee, all the while grumbling at me.

I have been yelled at by my neighbor, who was invited to dinner at my mother’s, (where she managed to arrive 2 hours late) because I dared to change places when she started smoking next to me. She first tried to convince me that second hand smoking was absolutely harmless, and that anyone who said otherwise was delusional. She then proceeded to demonstrate how selfish it was of non-smokers to deprive smokers of their little ciggie during long flights or in cinemas.

By that time I must confess I had lost some of my cool, citing to her the studies in a rather less than calm tone, and possibly expressing sarcasm by suggesting to her that second hand smoking might even be beneficial, since it was clearly a government conspiracy to deprive us of it. Unsurprisingly, the other 2 smokers at our table deemed me impolite. I refrained from mentioning that said neighbor has 2 dogs in the building, both hysterical barkers, one of which she leaves tied all night long beneath my grandmother’s window so that my 88-year-old grandma cannot sleep. Like my mother says: in Greece, people never complain about their neighbor’s disturbances, which in turn gives them a disturbance capital which they are then free to spend at their leisure.

I have been yelled at by other drivers, sales people, my lawyer, my grandma’s doctor, pedestrians, young, old, and in-between. My favorite story is that of a friend of the family, raised abroad as I was, who had the audacity to stop to let a pedestrian cross the street. He was rewarded by said pedestrian yelling at him at the top of his voice: “Who the fuck are you to decide you’re letting me cross the street?!”

These people are crazy. I’m going swimming.

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SOME FEEDBACK ABOUT THIS NEWSLETTER:

Alexandre N:
No way!!!!!!!! "Who the fuck are you to decide you're letting me cross the street?!"
Putain, y faut que tu mettes tout cela dans un film!!!! C'est hallucinant!! A bas les fumeurs, tiens!

Cory M:
Oh my god. You have moved to an insane asylum!

Mik H:
Wow! That's some great material. Sounds like you've become the Larry David of your patch of Greece.
I think that dog should be "disappeared" in the nighttime.
Well, maybe not whacked, but just let go.

Corey Z:
Wow! I have to agree with Mik... Can we call you Laura David? ;) It's so wonderful getting these emails from you... not just because I love reading about the updates, but because you remind me that maybe things aren't as SUPER awful in America as I think they are... I mean, they are awful, but comparatively, the rest of the world isn't quite the fantasy land that I dream it to be :)

Marc G:
Ah Laura, you are making me homesick for Florence. I haven't been yelled at once since I got back and I already have a few job offers. Its terrible. At this rate, I'll be working soon. I'm sure it will take you a while to get back into the spirit, but yelling is their form of chit chat.

Trent J:
Dear Laura,
Love your stories. Please keep them coming. It's great to know that even the cradle of western civilisation has its problems.

Ari S:
These are hilarious! I love these letters. You are a foreigner in your own country.

John T:
Keep at it! And keep a positive attitude. Until of course you need to vent your rage... then you should go on a murderous rampage.

Andrea C:
Poor Laura! Come back home!!!