October 30, 2007
Hello, beautiful people!
I know I have been very remiss lately in sharing my latest Greek news with you. A lot has happened, quite a bit of it bad, some of it that leaves some room for hope, and most of it ridiculous and crazy as only the Greeks can do it, of course.
First of all, my Greek nationality is still pending. But first, I must tell you about THE REMATCH…
A few weeks ago, I went back to the office of the “Surround” in order to try once again to get my case submitted for approval. You see, in case you guys didn’t quite get this part, all my efforts of the last 10 years didn’t even get me as far as submitting – they always sent me back for more documents, so that my case was never actually under consideration.
I had always assumed that state employees simply didn’t want to go through the effort of submitting/reviewing my case, but lately my perspective has shifted. After seeing all the effort that goes into devising cunning new ways to send me away, one cannot help but realize it would clearly have been less effort for them to simply tackle my case from the first.
Therefore, I have come up with a couple of possible explanations:
a) It is a kind of sport for them – possibly complete with bets between employees as to which one will manage to do the less work/send the more people away/drive the more people insane
b) They simply, honestly have no idea what they are doing and assume that by not doing anything, they are keeping themselves free of blame
c) They just hate my guts on sight
[I have a problem with this last one, but one must face the possible truth, after all, since my Greek friends insist that THEY never have problems like ME and that I’m the ONLY one who EVER reports such dysfunctional occurrences.]
The Greeks of course have other theories:
d) It is a conspiracy from the opposing party to unseat the current government
[I don’t really see how that would work, but knowing the intricacies of Greek politics, I’m sure there’s a perfectly Greek explanation for it.]
e) The employees are expecting a bribe.
This one almost seems too easy for Greek reality. What, hand in a bribe and all your problems go away? How un-Greek. One must suffer to accomplish anything. After all that’s the whole point of living: suffering. Right?
Also, I would never do that, simply on principle. Call me crazy, but I refuse to bribe people to do their job – even though I know that bribes are a perfectly normal way of conducting even the simplest everyday task here.
After all, this is the only EU country I know where you need to bribe your surgeon to make sure you get better service. But mostly, it is the only country I know of that doesn’t even feel the need for shame at this corruption, much less the need to change things: one minister once went on TV and actually delivered the following speech: “Come on, guys. Take your bribes, but let’s not overdo it, OK?”
Some of my Greek friends actually use this as an example of how honest Greeks are: “You see?” They say. “No one denies there is corruption! A least we’re not lying about it.”
Oh, sure. My heart swells with pride at the thought.
But let’s get back to the Surround.
I went there at 8 am, as I had done in the past, expecting to get a number and then come back around 1.30pm in the hopes of seeing an employee before closing time at 2pm. Unfortunately, the system had just changed: we now had to come at 11.30 am, at which time they would start letting people in right away.
Thinking I had a few hours to kill, I went for a stroll and had breakfast on one of the gorgeous squares in the area. Coming back a little before 11 am, I realized there were now 20 people sitting haphazardly on the stairs or the floor.
Having no idea who was first or last, I simply stood there and waited, striking a conversation with a Scottish woman who was also trying to get her Greek nationality through her mother. She lived 5 hours away and had to go home that same night, but one can only apply for citizenship in person, in Athens, in this one office.
A little after 11.30, by which time our numbers had grown to roughly 50 people, an employee came down with little numbers that he started handing out, saying only the first 14 people would be allowed in, then another 14, and that would probably be it for the day.
That’s when the melee began: everyone rushed forward, suddenly remembering they were first, no me, I was before you, because I was after that lady with the hat, and who were you behind? Because I distinctly remember you weren’t there when I arrived. Of course I was, and who do you think you are, calling me a liar?!
Of course it was impossible to tell, and the Surround employee, after half-heartedly berating us for not respecting the first-come first-served rule and being unruly, simply shrugged and started handing the numbers to whomever had the longest reach.
Seeing a mustachioed old man trying to slink his way past me, I instantly moved to block his path, but he skillfully evaded me – he’d obviously had a lot of practice. Forced to stand behind him, I eventually got the number 19, ensuring that I would at least get in to see someone, and probably proving that I had also managed to steal someone’s spot.
In the same melee, we climbed the stairs to the 2nd floor, where the offices were located, and had to wait for another hour while the first batch of 14 people went in. There was almost a slight incident when the people behind, forced to wait on the staircase as there was no room on the tiny landing, started pushing forward and were rewarded by the people in front pushing just as hard backwards so as not to be crushed against the wall; one tiny man almost went over the railing, but a couple of strong guys managed to right him up before we had a live remake of “Vertigo”.
When my time finally came to go in, I was directed to one of 4 offices, but having previously experienced the paperwork-stealing hysterical woman of office number 1 [whom you probably remember], I pretended I didn’t hear the guard and slipped into the 2nd office. The good think about Greece is that no one came after me to order me into my assigned office.
Sitting in front of this new woman, I proudly showed her my letter from the Ministry of the Interior [although carefully holding on to it in case she decided this was WRONG and had to be shredded], pointing out to her the “IT IS A POSSIBILITY” line and the various required docs, which I proceeded to lay on the table in front of her.
But she was already shaking her head. No, she said. I was still missing the following documents – and she proceeded to list 8 docs, most of which had to come straight from Brussels, since that is where I was born.
Notice that not only had she also managed to once again refuse considering my case, she actually managed to set me back several months, since I would need to fly to Brussels to gather all these docs, have them translated by an official translator in Athens [“But some of these have already been translated by an official translator!” “Yes, but that was in Brussels.” Shark smile], before finally being allowed back in her office.
That is when this newly discovered Greek in me took over once again. Humbly nodding, I made her write everything down, thanked her profusely, and instead of leaving like I had been ordered to, I discretely slipped into the next-door office.
The woman asked about my business, but was very quickly bored with me and told me to go either to the earlier office or the next one over. I of course went to the next one over, where a young woman had half a dozen hopeful people waiting for her to help them. She was my last hope too.
Looking up in dismay when I came in, she exclaimed: “Are you all coming to me? But there are other offices you know!” I thought this was rather a good sign, and when another guard came to direct me to another office, I assured him I had been sent here by the previous office and gently but stubbornly refused to budge.
While I waited, I saw the Scottish woman walking out with a dazed expression on her face. What happened? I asked. They said she had to come back. She’d had to drive 10 hours back and forth in one day, and they told her to come back. How long had she been trying to get her nationality? 1 year, she replied, indignantly. Nodding in sympathy, I thought it best not to tell her it had been 10 long years for me. After all, if you take a person’s hope away, they tend to stop fighting. And the more people fight this bloody Greek system, the more chances we might see a change some day.
After 45 minutes, the young woman finally turned to me. “Sorry about the long wait”, she said. “How can I help you?” I almost hugged her right then. It was the first time since I’d been coming to this bloody Surround that I had heard that sentence.
I handed her my letter from the Ministry, trembling. She took it, read it, and in about 2 minutes she was stapling things together, filling out a form and asking me a couple of questions. In another 5 minutes, she had shown me to another office, deposited my paperwork with them and handed me a receipt.
I found myself on the sidewalk, stunned. Looking at the tiny piece of paper in my hand, the proof that it had not just been a dream, I still did not quite dare to believe that my case was actually going to be considered, after 10 years.
If there is a God, I do believe He/She is Greek. After all, who else would thus reward disobedience such as I had shown?
-----
SOME FEEDBACK ABOUT THIS NEWSLETTER:
Linus L:
hahahahahah! the bribes! I was dying... thank you for always updating about your travels!
John T:
You know, Laura. I've heard Greece is a beautiful country with a rich and interesting history. However, after all of these emails... I will NEVER go there, in my life, not once. Was that your purpose? To ruin any chance of me going there? Mission accomplished.
Cory M:
Remind me to never have surgery in Greece.
Ramjasha R:
1. Awesome story
2. Im never going to Greece
3. I will never complain in line @ the DMV again
Katy F:
your struggles with citizenship remind me of what it has been like getting my husband's visa for iran! or trying to get anything renewed, including my own passport and ID papers.
Τρίτη 30 Οκτωβρίου 2007
Correction
Oct. 4th 2007
Hello people,
I just received a furious email from a friend, ranting about the backwardness of Greece in terms of tolerance, and while I admire her justified indignation, I just wanted to set something straight, as I realize I gave a rather one-sided picture when I told you about my mixed-couple friends.
First of all, not everyone in Greece thinks like the "peripteras" [guy from the "periptero", remember?]. There are a lot of open-minded people here, but they tend to be found in the more artistic/cultivated spheres. At the risk of sounding socially biased, I would say that a "peripteras" is not usually one of them.
And even among those who don't get it, there is not what I call "active racism". In other words, no one will insult minorities (be they gay, black or anything else), and most importantly, there are no acts of violence against minorities - unlike in France, Germany, England, and even the US, which are supposedly more "tolerant" countries yet have regular occurences of beatings, murders, and/or arson against foreigners and their property.
Instead, there is what I call "racism of ignorance" - in other words, Greeks have only recently been exposed to more minorities in their country.
It is only in recent years that they have started seeing a regular influx of Africans, Asians, etc. into their society. As a result, they know close to nothing about them, (except maybe their aunt's cleaning lady, sadly) and there is this sort of "They don't bother us, but let's stay in our respective groups"- attitude which I most definitely intend to contribute to change!
There is also, even among educated people, a lack of understanding that some comments which they perceive as completely natural or some questions they perceive as completely innocent are in fact very offensive. My favourite example? A few years ago, a friend of mine asked my half-Filipina friend if her mother's eyes were "like this", while he grabbed the edge of his eyelids and drew them into a slit.
See, he liked my friend. Thought she was great, in fact. He didn't mean to offend her, but since she looks more latina than Asian, I guess he wanted to make sure he got it right, (or more likely whether I had gotten it right)... He certainly never thought she might be offended by such a question and could not understand my rage when I started screaming that this was unacceptable. To him, it was a perfectly legitimate question, with absolutely no harm intended. He felt I was way overreacting.
I have also noticed that a lot of it has to do with culture and language rather than race. For example, in recent years there have been 1 or 2 Black actors/presenters on TV. But they were born and raised in Greece, and therefore have no accent. As a result, they seem to be completely integrated into Greek society. Now, of course, I don't know these people personally, so I have no idea whether they encounter a different, more subtle kind of racism every day, but my guess is that most of the time, just having the same cultural background as native Greeks (in fact, they ARE native Greeks) gives them more legitimacy in some people's mind than me.
After all, I was born abroad, have lived abroad most of my life, and the slightest foreign accent can be detected when I speak certain words - or at least the few grammatical mistakes I make betray my foreign origins, as some acquaintances were quick to point out. Even a close friend of mine said to me that I wasn't really Greek, certainly not like her, who was born and raised there. See? If your own friends have that kind of attitude, what hope is there from the rest of society?
But I'm working on it, fear not.
------
SOME FEEDBACK ABOUT THIS NEWSLETTER:
Cory M:
Well, I'm certainly happy that there is no serious racism in Greece, alone among the countries of the world. Must be very nice.
Hello people,
I just received a furious email from a friend, ranting about the backwardness of Greece in terms of tolerance, and while I admire her justified indignation, I just wanted to set something straight, as I realize I gave a rather one-sided picture when I told you about my mixed-couple friends.
First of all, not everyone in Greece thinks like the "peripteras" [guy from the "periptero", remember?]. There are a lot of open-minded people here, but they tend to be found in the more artistic/cultivated spheres. At the risk of sounding socially biased, I would say that a "peripteras" is not usually one of them.
And even among those who don't get it, there is not what I call "active racism". In other words, no one will insult minorities (be they gay, black or anything else), and most importantly, there are no acts of violence against minorities - unlike in France, Germany, England, and even the US, which are supposedly more "tolerant" countries yet have regular occurences of beatings, murders, and/or arson against foreigners and their property.
Instead, there is what I call "racism of ignorance" - in other words, Greeks have only recently been exposed to more minorities in their country.
It is only in recent years that they have started seeing a regular influx of Africans, Asians, etc. into their society. As a result, they know close to nothing about them, (except maybe their aunt's cleaning lady, sadly) and there is this sort of "They don't bother us, but let's stay in our respective groups"- attitude which I most definitely intend to contribute to change!
There is also, even among educated people, a lack of understanding that some comments which they perceive as completely natural or some questions they perceive as completely innocent are in fact very offensive. My favourite example? A few years ago, a friend of mine asked my half-Filipina friend if her mother's eyes were "like this", while he grabbed the edge of his eyelids and drew them into a slit.
See, he liked my friend. Thought she was great, in fact. He didn't mean to offend her, but since she looks more latina than Asian, I guess he wanted to make sure he got it right, (or more likely whether I had gotten it right)... He certainly never thought she might be offended by such a question and could not understand my rage when I started screaming that this was unacceptable. To him, it was a perfectly legitimate question, with absolutely no harm intended. He felt I was way overreacting.
I have also noticed that a lot of it has to do with culture and language rather than race. For example, in recent years there have been 1 or 2 Black actors/presenters on TV. But they were born and raised in Greece, and therefore have no accent. As a result, they seem to be completely integrated into Greek society. Now, of course, I don't know these people personally, so I have no idea whether they encounter a different, more subtle kind of racism every day, but my guess is that most of the time, just having the same cultural background as native Greeks (in fact, they ARE native Greeks) gives them more legitimacy in some people's mind than me.
After all, I was born abroad, have lived abroad most of my life, and the slightest foreign accent can be detected when I speak certain words - or at least the few grammatical mistakes I make betray my foreign origins, as some acquaintances were quick to point out. Even a close friend of mine said to me that I wasn't really Greek, certainly not like her, who was born and raised there. See? If your own friends have that kind of attitude, what hope is there from the rest of society?
But I'm working on it, fear not.
------
SOME FEEDBACK ABOUT THIS NEWSLETTER:
Cory M:
Well, I'm certainly happy that there is no serious racism in Greece, alone among the countries of the world. Must be very nice.
Τρίτη 25 Σεπτεμβρίου 2007
Maybe a Greek after all!
September 25th, 2007
People, today is a great day. Not just for me, but for Greece, indeed, for the entire Hellenistic community throughout the world: I actually got a response from the Ministry of the Interior concerning my Greek nationality. I know, I didn't believe it either, at first.
Now, I don't think I have explained why exactly it is so hard for me to get my Greek nationality. You see, if my father had been Greek instead of my mother, I would have gotten it long ago. That is because there once was a bizarre law in this country, a few years back, that said that you automatically lost your nationality should you be a woman [we weren't macho at all, in those days] and happen to marry abloody foreigner. [OK, I added the 'bloody'.]
Well, my mother did in fact marry a bloody foreigner, Italian as it turns out, and was completely unaware of having lost her nationality. I was therefore born while my mother was technically not a Greek. She got it back a few years later (I'll spare you THAT battle), and never requested it for me while I was underage (thanks, mom), which apparently would have been MUCH easier. [Greeks love emphasizing that fact, for some reason.]
Anyway, the Greeks being a naturally suspicious people, when they see someone trying to get THEIR nationality, all their detective skills are apparently set a-twitching.
Need proof? Not once, but several times, when I mentioned I was officially a Belgian citizen with a Belgian passport, but also wanted my Greek nationality, I was faced with gleefully suspicious glances: "And with what visa are you currently here? How long is it legal for you to remain??" You could almost see their hand hovering towards the phone, ready to make the call that would send me back to whatever miserable little country I was obviously trying to escape from.
I felt almost sorry at having to disappoint them, reminding them gently that Belgium is in fact in the European Union, which means that I am perfectly legal and can remain until the next Flood if I so choose, without requiring anyone's permission… Maybe it is just difficult for them to imagine someone who doesn't need the Greek nationality, yet actually wants it nonetheless.
But let me get back to the letter from the Ministry. The letter (in Katharevousa, of course) states the following:
"In response to your sending [= letter], regarding the subject of your obtaining of the Greek nationality, we let you know that in accordance with article 14, paragraph 1 of Law 3284/2004, "child born before 5/8/1984 from a Greek mother during the time of her genesis [= birth][don't really get this part, no matter which language I translate it into] or the wedding ceremony from which the child was born, it [the child] becomes Greek if it makes a declaration of its will to the Secretary General of the Surround..." [HaHA! Remember that woman who wanted to steal my paperwork? Now I'll show her!!]
As it appears from the facts you have brought to the attention of our Service, your mother, being a Greek citizen, had abandoned the Greek nationality following the realization of her valid wedding with an Italian citizen and for you, as a child of the above-mentioned, IT IS A POSSIBILITY [capital letters are my adjunction] to obtain the Greek nationality by application of afore-mentioned law, by submitting a relevant declaration to the Athens Surround, and by bringing to the attention of the Service of the highest Surround the necessary justifiables [= docs justifying my claim]: proof of your mother's registration with the local [equivalent of City of CulverCity/Glendale, etc.], the certified proof of her marriage and THE CERTIFIED PROOF OF YOUR BIRTH."
People, this is the paper that the Surround employee wanted to confiscate from me. I am doubly proud of having fought her for it, and am gearing up for another inevitable and no doubt formidable rematch.
Do not worry. I'll make you proud.
L.
-----
SOME FEEDBACK ABOUT THIS NEWSLETTER:
Kim R:
If (and when) you get Greek citizenship, I am personally flying to Greece and buying you a drink! You have my word.
Christophe N:
Maintenant je comprends toute la profondeur de cette belle expression que nous avons dans l'hexagone: "va te faire voir chez les Grecs."
Jim P G:
you kill me.
At every turn...
you kill me.
Kostantinos C:
well done la garida ;)
Bénédicte G:
Jeeeezzzzzzzzzz, Laura! Je suis de tout cœur avec toi !... Tu me fais mourir de rire avec tes anecdotes (qui, paradoxe extrême, font quand même froid dans le dos).
People, today is a great day. Not just for me, but for Greece, indeed, for the entire Hellenistic community throughout the world: I actually got a response from the Ministry of the Interior concerning my Greek nationality. I know, I didn't believe it either, at first.
Now, I don't think I have explained why exactly it is so hard for me to get my Greek nationality. You see, if my father had been Greek instead of my mother, I would have gotten it long ago. That is because there once was a bizarre law in this country, a few years back, that said that you automatically lost your nationality should you be a woman [we weren't macho at all, in those days] and happen to marry abloody foreigner. [OK, I added the 'bloody'.]
Well, my mother did in fact marry a bloody foreigner, Italian as it turns out, and was completely unaware of having lost her nationality. I was therefore born while my mother was technically not a Greek. She got it back a few years later (I'll spare you THAT battle), and never requested it for me while I was underage (thanks, mom), which apparently would have been MUCH easier. [Greeks love emphasizing that fact, for some reason.]
Anyway, the Greeks being a naturally suspicious people, when they see someone trying to get THEIR nationality, all their detective skills are apparently set a-twitching.
Need proof? Not once, but several times, when I mentioned I was officially a Belgian citizen with a Belgian passport, but also wanted my Greek nationality, I was faced with gleefully suspicious glances: "And with what visa are you currently here? How long is it legal for you to remain??" You could almost see their hand hovering towards the phone, ready to make the call that would send me back to whatever miserable little country I was obviously trying to escape from.
I felt almost sorry at having to disappoint them, reminding them gently that Belgium is in fact in the European Union, which means that I am perfectly legal and can remain until the next Flood if I so choose, without requiring anyone's permission… Maybe it is just difficult for them to imagine someone who doesn't need the Greek nationality, yet actually wants it nonetheless.
But let me get back to the letter from the Ministry. The letter (in Katharevousa, of course) states the following:
"In response to your sending [= letter], regarding the subject of your obtaining of the Greek nationality, we let you know that in accordance with article 14, paragraph 1 of Law 3284/2004, "child born before 5/8/1984 from a Greek mother during the time of her genesis [= birth][don't really get this part, no matter which language I translate it into] or the wedding ceremony from which the child was born, it [the child] becomes Greek if it makes a declaration of its will to the Secretary General of the Surround..." [HaHA! Remember that woman who wanted to steal my paperwork? Now I'll show her!!]
As it appears from the facts you have brought to the attention of our Service, your mother, being a Greek citizen, had abandoned the Greek nationality following the realization of her valid wedding with an Italian citizen and for you, as a child of the above-mentioned, IT IS A POSSIBILITY [capital letters are my adjunction] to obtain the Greek nationality by application of afore-mentioned law, by submitting a relevant declaration to the Athens Surround, and by bringing to the attention of the Service of the highest Surround the necessary justifiables [= docs justifying my claim]: proof of your mother's registration with the local [equivalent of City of CulverCity/Glendale, etc.], the certified proof of her marriage and THE CERTIFIED PROOF OF YOUR BIRTH."
People, this is the paper that the Surround employee wanted to confiscate from me. I am doubly proud of having fought her for it, and am gearing up for another inevitable and no doubt formidable rematch.
Do not worry. I'll make you proud.
L.
-----
SOME FEEDBACK ABOUT THIS NEWSLETTER:
Kim R:
If (and when) you get Greek citizenship, I am personally flying to Greece and buying you a drink! You have my word.
Christophe N:
Maintenant je comprends toute la profondeur de cette belle expression que nous avons dans l'hexagone: "va te faire voir chez les Grecs."
Jim P G:
you kill me.
At every turn...
you kill me.
Kostantinos C:
well done la garida ;)
Bénédicte G:
Jeeeezzzzzzzzzz, Laura! Je suis de tout cœur avec toi !... Tu me fais mourir de rire avec tes anecdotes (qui, paradoxe extrême, font quand même froid dans le dos).
Πέμπτη 20 Σεπτεμβρίου 2007
Elections
The infamous Karatzaferis...
September 20th 2007
Hello people,
I realize I forgot to let you know the crucial news: the elections for the country’s new government did take place, and despite the fires (and inaptitude in handling them), the ruling party [“New Democracy” – which is the equivalent of the center/right] still has a slim majority.
However, people were disgruntled enough with both major parties [sort of the Greek version of Republicans vs. Democrats] that for once a lot of them decided to vote for other parties, meaning smaller parties who usually don’t stand a chance got more votes and there are now 5 different parties sitting in Parliament.
Knowing the Greeks, this just about ensures that nothing will ever get done, since said parties are incapable of agreeing on anything.
The other parties in Parliament include of course the other main party “PASOK” [Socialist something or other = supposedly the left-wing party – although there is not much difference between the 2 main parties], one of the local Communist parties (yes, we have over half a dozen, since Greek Communists apparently cannot even agree on how to be a good Comrade), “Syriza” [= sort of Coalition of the Left], a sort of centrist/left party that sometimes actually makes sense, and my personal favorite: “LAOS”, which are the main initials for what can roughly be translated as “Popular Orthodox Rally”.
The guy at the head of LAOS had a rather unusual campaign, with such interesting slogans as “Mr. Tenement – because he is different”, “Mr. Tenement – together for a forward movement” and “A PUNCH IN THE FACE! The right choice”, the latter showing him wearing a boxing glove.
Of course, his name is not really Tenement, but it’s a little difficult to make Karatzaferis rhyme with anything in English.
Mr Karatzaferis has described his party as “pre-dictatorship Right” as well as “profoundly democratic”, so it is somewhat difficult to understand where exactly he stands. He also expressed the opinion that November 17th [the terrorist group responsible for the deaths of several people, including a CIA attache, a British military attache and about two dozen more, usually targeting US/Nato/Turkish people] “had some merit” and apparently claims to have pictures of Fidel Castro and Che Guevara in his office as “symbols against the Americans”. A colorful figure like only Greece can produce.
Just for your education and entertainment, I thought I should also inform you on some of the numerous Greek parties that did not make it into Parliament.
They include such interesting groups as the Greek Hunters [not sure what their program is, probably something about being able to kill anything that moves all year long], the Marxist-Leninists [who apparently do not agree with either the Communist Party or the Communist Organization], and the Maoists [who clearly disagree with the Marxist-Leninists and the Stalinists, not to mention the Revolutionary Communists].
Let’s not forget the Golden Dawn [anti-Semitic, anti-capitalist, anti-immigrant – in short, the Greek neo-nazis, who interestingly enough claim their philosophy is based on laws of ancient Spartan society], several Ecologist groups with no program that I could fathom, including a “Renewing Communist Ecological Left” [sure, combine the two, why not? Probably something about planting trees in comradeship], the Fighting Socialist Party of Greece [as opposed to the other Socialist parties, I guess, who merely struggle?], the Political Spring [no idea what they stand for, but they do sound romantic], and the Renewing and Modernizing Movement of the Left. [They do have a knack for names, those Greeks.]
I’ll spare you the Centrists [not to be confused with the Democratic Center or the Center Union], the National Democrats [not to be confused with the United Democrats and even less with the United Nationalists] and the Royalists [we did have a king once, but since he was a foreigner imposed on us, the Greeks quickly kicked him out and the so-called Greek royals were banned from ever returning to Greece, so I’m not sure exactly what this party is hoping to achieve].
Anyway, I’m thinking of creating my own party, just to add to the fun. I welcome any suggestions for an interesting name – it needs to rival all the above-mentioned after all, by no means an easy feat.
So far I am thinking of “The Union of Bloody Foreigners of Greece” or “People for the Ecologic Obtainment of the Greek Nationality” or maybe “Coalition of the radically Fed Up”, but somehow it doesn’t sound quite right.
Please, send me your ideas. I am all ears.
[There! A slogan already!!]
To see Mr Karatzaferis in action, click this link (you can stop watching after about 30 seconds): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qa3i8QcNNYk
----
SOME FEEDBACK ABOUT THIS NEWSLETTER:
Devon C:
I think you should call it the United Greek People's Pre-Bureaucracy Movement for Change and Centrism in the New Century. I don't know what the exact Greek translation of that would be, but I'd be willing to bet that it'd be pretty awesome.
Hello people,
I realize I forgot to let you know the crucial news: the elections for the country’s new government did take place, and despite the fires (and inaptitude in handling them), the ruling party [“New Democracy” – which is the equivalent of the center/right] still has a slim majority.
However, people were disgruntled enough with both major parties [sort of the Greek version of Republicans vs. Democrats] that for once a lot of them decided to vote for other parties, meaning smaller parties who usually don’t stand a chance got more votes and there are now 5 different parties sitting in Parliament.
Knowing the Greeks, this just about ensures that nothing will ever get done, since said parties are incapable of agreeing on anything.
The other parties in Parliament include of course the other main party “PASOK” [Socialist something or other = supposedly the left-wing party – although there is not much difference between the 2 main parties], one of the local Communist parties (yes, we have over half a dozen, since Greek Communists apparently cannot even agree on how to be a good Comrade), “Syriza” [= sort of Coalition of the Left], a sort of centrist/left party that sometimes actually makes sense, and my personal favorite: “LAOS”, which are the main initials for what can roughly be translated as “Popular Orthodox Rally”.
The guy at the head of LAOS had a rather unusual campaign, with such interesting slogans as “Mr. Tenement – because he is different”, “Mr. Tenement – together for a forward movement” and “A PUNCH IN THE FACE! The right choice”, the latter showing him wearing a boxing glove.
Of course, his name is not really Tenement, but it’s a little difficult to make Karatzaferis rhyme with anything in English.
Mr Karatzaferis has described his party as “pre-dictatorship Right” as well as “profoundly democratic”, so it is somewhat difficult to understand where exactly he stands. He also expressed the opinion that November 17th [the terrorist group responsible for the deaths of several people, including a CIA attache, a British military attache and about two dozen more, usually targeting US/Nato/Turkish people] “had some merit” and apparently claims to have pictures of Fidel Castro and Che Guevara in his office as “symbols against the Americans”. A colorful figure like only Greece can produce.
Just for your education and entertainment, I thought I should also inform you on some of the numerous Greek parties that did not make it into Parliament.
They include such interesting groups as the Greek Hunters [not sure what their program is, probably something about being able to kill anything that moves all year long], the Marxist-Leninists [who apparently do not agree with either the Communist Party or the Communist Organization], and the Maoists [who clearly disagree with the Marxist-Leninists and the Stalinists, not to mention the Revolutionary Communists].
Let’s not forget the Golden Dawn [anti-Semitic, anti-capitalist, anti-immigrant – in short, the Greek neo-nazis, who interestingly enough claim their philosophy is based on laws of ancient Spartan society], several Ecologist groups with no program that I could fathom, including a “Renewing Communist Ecological Left” [sure, combine the two, why not? Probably something about planting trees in comradeship], the Fighting Socialist Party of Greece [as opposed to the other Socialist parties, I guess, who merely struggle?], the Political Spring [no idea what they stand for, but they do sound romantic], and the Renewing and Modernizing Movement of the Left. [They do have a knack for names, those Greeks.]
I’ll spare you the Centrists [not to be confused with the Democratic Center or the Center Union], the National Democrats [not to be confused with the United Democrats and even less with the United Nationalists] and the Royalists [we did have a king once, but since he was a foreigner imposed on us, the Greeks quickly kicked him out and the so-called Greek royals were banned from ever returning to Greece, so I’m not sure exactly what this party is hoping to achieve].
Anyway, I’m thinking of creating my own party, just to add to the fun. I welcome any suggestions for an interesting name – it needs to rival all the above-mentioned after all, by no means an easy feat.
So far I am thinking of “The Union of Bloody Foreigners of Greece” or “People for the Ecologic Obtainment of the Greek Nationality” or maybe “Coalition of the radically Fed Up”, but somehow it doesn’t sound quite right.
Please, send me your ideas. I am all ears.
[There! A slogan already!!]
To see Mr Karatzaferis in action, click this link (you can stop watching after about 30 seconds): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qa3i8QcNNYk
----
SOME FEEDBACK ABOUT THIS NEWSLETTER:
Devon C:
I think you should call it the United Greek People's Pre-Bureaucracy Movement for Change and Centrism in the New Century. I don't know what the exact Greek translation of that would be, but I'd be willing to bet that it'd be pretty awesome.
Open-minded? What's that?
A typical "periptero"September 15th 2007
I definitely need to make mentalities evolve here, and quick.
People here are still so unused to seeing Black people [unless they’re Senegalese Africans selling contraband CDs & DVDs on the beach – boy, would Jack Valenti hate Greece…] that a girlfriend of mine who's dating a Black Portuguese told me they kept attracting amazed looks and comments everywhere they went.
She did warn him to brace himself before he came from England to see her, but he assured her he was used to “that kind of thing”. The poor guy actually thought that Greece, being in the European Union after all, could actually be compared to England. People are such innocents.
When he arrived in Greece he was dismayed to realize people were following his every move, avidly watching even when he leaned forward to pick up his glass or when he coughed. [What? A Black man who actually looks like he might have a legit job? Not to mention a Greek girlfriend?! What is the world coming to?!?!]
And the best part? Everyone is a critic, but never so much as in Greece. Need proof? Wait till you hear what happened when above-mentioned girlfriend went to buy a bottle of water at a “periptero”.
[Note: “periptero” is just about untranslatable. They are little huts that you can find on pretty much every street corner throughout Greece, where they sell just about anything, but mainly drinks, ice cream, newspapers, phone cards, chewing gum, cigarettes, etc. Most of these are displayed on the outside. Inside, there is just enough room for 1 chair where the owner can sit in the cramped space all day long, with a tiny window open on the outside world in order to receive payment.]
I definitely need to make mentalities evolve here, and quick.
People here are still so unused to seeing Black people [unless they’re Senegalese Africans selling contraband CDs & DVDs on the beach – boy, would Jack Valenti hate Greece…] that a girlfriend of mine who's dating a Black Portuguese told me they kept attracting amazed looks and comments everywhere they went.
She did warn him to brace himself before he came from England to see her, but he assured her he was used to “that kind of thing”. The poor guy actually thought that Greece, being in the European Union after all, could actually be compared to England. People are such innocents.
When he arrived in Greece he was dismayed to realize people were following his every move, avidly watching even when he leaned forward to pick up his glass or when he coughed. [What? A Black man who actually looks like he might have a legit job? Not to mention a Greek girlfriend?! What is the world coming to?!?!]
And the best part? Everyone is a critic, but never so much as in Greece. Need proof? Wait till you hear what happened when above-mentioned girlfriend went to buy a bottle of water at a “periptero”.
[Note: “periptero” is just about untranslatable. They are little huts that you can find on pretty much every street corner throughout Greece, where they sell just about anything, but mainly drinks, ice cream, newspapers, phone cards, chewing gum, cigarettes, etc. Most of these are displayed on the outside. Inside, there is just enough room for 1 chair where the owner can sit in the cramped space all day long, with a tiny window open on the outside world in order to receive payment.]
Anyway, this [conspicuously White] friend of mine went with her [conspicuously Black] boyfriend to buy a bottle of water from one of those “periptera”. [Plural of periptero – you guys might as well learn something while we’re at it.]
The “peripteras” [= guy owning the periptero – Greek is easy, really] looked at her, then at her waiting boyfriend, and instead of handing over the water, said: “Does your father know about this?” [One cannot help but wonder if he intended to inform the father in case he didn’t.]
My friend was so shocked that instead of telling him to get his fat racist gut to hell, she spluttered that of course her father knew. The peripteras then said: “And he doesn’t mind?” Furious by now, my friend replied that of course he didn’t, why should he? At which point the peripteras delivered this final judgement: “He’s a good sort, your father.”
Had it been me, I would probably have thrown the bottle back in his face, but my friend being more civilized than me, she simply paid and left, probably doing more to advance the cause of mixed couples in this country than any of my rantings might.
The poor guy left Greece after 10 days of a “holiday” spent under almost constant scrutiny, feeling slightly traumatized. It is rather uncertain whether he will set foot in Greece again.
And I'll spare you the scandal that erupted the first time they showed 2 men kissing on TV – that was about 2 months ago.
-----
SOME FEEDBACK ABOUT THIS NEWSLETTER:
Ari S:
I cant believe that 2 men kissing is a big deal in Greece given that it is the Gay destination of the world for gay partiers and that Greek ancient culture is riddled with homosexual tradition.
Alexandra K:
Thank you for writing all this, I thought Finnish people were isolated from the real world, but after reading your stories I find us rather international :). But I must tell you that there are really people in Finland too who find Black people almost alien and homosexuals should be in the zoo etc. I did an interview a while ago and when I told that our presenter in the show is gay, the interviee said that there should be a glass wall in between them.
Home?
This is the view from my mother's apartment. Yes, that's the sea in the background.
September 10th 2007
In case any of you were wondering where I’ve been staying here, I thought it might be interesting to enlighten you.
During my first month, I was able to stay at my aunt’s apartment, which is conveniently situated a couple of blocks from my grandma’s place, where all meals take place. The unwritten rule is that no matter what we are doing or who we are with, sometime between 1.30 and 2 pm we are to report at my grandma’s house in order to be FED. This is serious business, here. Italian mammas have nothing on my grandma. She usually cooks between 3 to 5 dishes for every meal and expects us to eat them all. Even when there’s only the 2 of us. I don’t know how that’s possible either, but just a look at her dismayed little face saying “But you haven’t eaten ANYTHING” (usually uttered after you’ve consumed more food than a single human being ever should)… Well, let’s just say that we try our best, especially since she’s some cook.
Unfortunately, my aunt arrived in Greece earlier this week. Don’t get me wrong, I am absolutely delighted to see her, but I do confess I am a little put out at my new accommodations. Since my mother is currently occupying our small roof studio (the VIEW!), and we do not want to risk killing each other over differing hours and varying degrees of orderliness, I am staying in my grandma’s basement for the next 2 weeks.
Picture a room where sunlight only shines for about 5 mn in the morning and another 5 in the afternoon, when the sun is low enough to shine through the tiny, barred windows set high in the walls. Add to that the fact that the woman who looks after my grandmother only goes down there once or twice a year in order to half-heartedly push dust around the 40-year-old furniture and rolled carpets and that the paper thin walls allow me to eavesdrop on every single conversation going on in the hallway (boring, by the way), and you’ll get a better idea. Now, add to all this the fact that not a single thing has been done to improve this place over the last 30 years, which includes leaving the shower and toilet exactly the way they were 30 years ago, and you’ll start seeing how a trip back in time is not always an exciting thing.
And the best part? There is a staircase communicating directly with my grandma’s living room, which means I am forever condemned to hear the latest serials… I just want to share this piece of information with you: Konstantinos and Sofia were lovers, therefore he could NOT have had ANYTHING to do with her death… TADAAAA!!! (I don’t know why the one would preclude the other, but anyway.)
Oh, and Stefanos, who looks like he’s about 35, just announced that he is moving out of his parents’ house. His mother sounded very distraught when she heard the news.
Just thought you should know.
SOME FEEDBACK ABOUT THIS NEWSLETTER:
Norman H:
Aha. Sounds like one of my New York City apartments!
Howard V:
Hey Laura, I must say, your (mis)adventures in Greece have been quite entertaining. You should put this on a blog with pictures. Hopefully you are staying well, and just know that it's way cooler to live out there and have 'interesting' times than it is to do the same-old LA scene. So count yourself lucky!
Marc O:
Formidable comme d'habitude, il y a de la matière à long métrage là-dessous.
Ramjasha R:
Hey girl,
just think of your room as a standard Hollywood studio apartment without the $900 rent.
Noemi B:
Eh ben, ca a l'air passionant, chaque minute de ta vie quotidienne!
In case any of you were wondering where I’ve been staying here, I thought it might be interesting to enlighten you.
During my first month, I was able to stay at my aunt’s apartment, which is conveniently situated a couple of blocks from my grandma’s place, where all meals take place. The unwritten rule is that no matter what we are doing or who we are with, sometime between 1.30 and 2 pm we are to report at my grandma’s house in order to be FED. This is serious business, here. Italian mammas have nothing on my grandma. She usually cooks between 3 to 5 dishes for every meal and expects us to eat them all. Even when there’s only the 2 of us. I don’t know how that’s possible either, but just a look at her dismayed little face saying “But you haven’t eaten ANYTHING” (usually uttered after you’ve consumed more food than a single human being ever should)… Well, let’s just say that we try our best, especially since she’s some cook.
Unfortunately, my aunt arrived in Greece earlier this week. Don’t get me wrong, I am absolutely delighted to see her, but I do confess I am a little put out at my new accommodations. Since my mother is currently occupying our small roof studio (the VIEW!), and we do not want to risk killing each other over differing hours and varying degrees of orderliness, I am staying in my grandma’s basement for the next 2 weeks.
Picture a room where sunlight only shines for about 5 mn in the morning and another 5 in the afternoon, when the sun is low enough to shine through the tiny, barred windows set high in the walls. Add to that the fact that the woman who looks after my grandmother only goes down there once or twice a year in order to half-heartedly push dust around the 40-year-old furniture and rolled carpets and that the paper thin walls allow me to eavesdrop on every single conversation going on in the hallway (boring, by the way), and you’ll get a better idea. Now, add to all this the fact that not a single thing has been done to improve this place over the last 30 years, which includes leaving the shower and toilet exactly the way they were 30 years ago, and you’ll start seeing how a trip back in time is not always an exciting thing.
And the best part? There is a staircase communicating directly with my grandma’s living room, which means I am forever condemned to hear the latest serials… I just want to share this piece of information with you: Konstantinos and Sofia were lovers, therefore he could NOT have had ANYTHING to do with her death… TADAAAA!!! (I don’t know why the one would preclude the other, but anyway.)
Oh, and Stefanos, who looks like he’s about 35, just announced that he is moving out of his parents’ house. His mother sounded very distraught when she heard the news.
Just thought you should know.
SOME FEEDBACK ABOUT THIS NEWSLETTER:
Norman H:
Aha. Sounds like one of my New York City apartments!
Howard V:
Hey Laura, I must say, your (mis)adventures in Greece have been quite entertaining. You should put this on a blog with pictures. Hopefully you are staying well, and just know that it's way cooler to live out there and have 'interesting' times than it is to do the same-old LA scene. So count yourself lucky!
Marc O:
Formidable comme d'habitude, il y a de la matière à long métrage là-dessous.
Ramjasha R:
Hey girl,
just think of your room as a standard Hollywood studio apartment without the $900 rent.
Noemi B:
Eh ben, ca a l'air passionant, chaque minute de ta vie quotidienne!
The jackass
My grandma and meSeptember 8th 2007
Today my little 88-year-old grandma was almost run over by a jackass,
We had gone out to have a family lunch – a rarity by now, since her best friend of 30+ years, who lives in the same building and has been a part of our lives ever since I can remember, has been lying sick in bed for the past 5 months, and my grandma rarely leaves her side.
I had parked the car a block down the street, so we were tranquilly walking back to it after lunch when above-mentioned jackass, in his puke green convertible, accompanied by his probable wife (safe guess in Greece) and 2 little kids (not wearing seatbelts of course) appeared around the corner, driving like a maniac.
My grandmother and my aunt had stepped off the sidewalk to reach the passenger door, and the jackass, instead of slowing down, decided to accelerate instead. As a result, he hit my grandma’s arm and almost made her fall over. My vision went red and I was out of the car before I knew it, ready to kill.
The jackass at least had the decency to stop to see whether he had killed anyone, then proceeded to come back to our level in reverse – at the same speed he apparently always uses, narrowly missing our feet. I growled: “Sure, why don’t you kill us all? That way there will be no witnesses and it’ll all be peachy.”
Never getting out of his car, he asked: “Did I hit you?” My aunt and I said yes, he had hit my grandma, at the same time as my grandma said: “It’s quite all right, my dear boy. Thank you for enquiring.” My aunt (also raised abroad) and I looked in disbelief at this madwoman who was thanking the jackass who had almost run her over.
The jackass said the Greek equivalent of “Oops, my bad”, and I watched in disbelief while my grandma, who was still holding her arm and clearly in pain, told him it didn’t matter and waved him on his way. I barely had time to write down the license plate number in case it turned out to be more serious before he disappeared. That’s when my grandma said: “Oh, come now. Poor man, he didn’t do it on purpose.”
At which point my murderous rage turned on my grandma and I had a hard time not throttling her myself.
See? This is why the country is in this state. Half of them run around not giving a shit about anyone else, while the other half pretends everything is fine and even thanks them for it.
Today my little 88-year-old grandma was almost run over by a jackass,
We had gone out to have a family lunch – a rarity by now, since her best friend of 30+ years, who lives in the same building and has been a part of our lives ever since I can remember, has been lying sick in bed for the past 5 months, and my grandma rarely leaves her side.
I had parked the car a block down the street, so we were tranquilly walking back to it after lunch when above-mentioned jackass, in his puke green convertible, accompanied by his probable wife (safe guess in Greece) and 2 little kids (not wearing seatbelts of course) appeared around the corner, driving like a maniac.
My grandmother and my aunt had stepped off the sidewalk to reach the passenger door, and the jackass, instead of slowing down, decided to accelerate instead. As a result, he hit my grandma’s arm and almost made her fall over. My vision went red and I was out of the car before I knew it, ready to kill.
The jackass at least had the decency to stop to see whether he had killed anyone, then proceeded to come back to our level in reverse – at the same speed he apparently always uses, narrowly missing our feet. I growled: “Sure, why don’t you kill us all? That way there will be no witnesses and it’ll all be peachy.”
Never getting out of his car, he asked: “Did I hit you?” My aunt and I said yes, he had hit my grandma, at the same time as my grandma said: “It’s quite all right, my dear boy. Thank you for enquiring.” My aunt (also raised abroad) and I looked in disbelief at this madwoman who was thanking the jackass who had almost run her over.
The jackass said the Greek equivalent of “Oops, my bad”, and I watched in disbelief while my grandma, who was still holding her arm and clearly in pain, told him it didn’t matter and waved him on his way. I barely had time to write down the license plate number in case it turned out to be more serious before he disappeared. That’s when my grandma said: “Oh, come now. Poor man, he didn’t do it on purpose.”
At which point my murderous rage turned on my grandma and I had a hard time not throttling her myself.
See? This is why the country is in this state. Half of them run around not giving a shit about anyone else, while the other half pretends everything is fine and even thanks them for it.
The politeness of the ostrich. "Let me not be in your way, I'll just hide my head in the sand while you finish devouring me."
-------
SOME FEEDBACK ABOUT THIS NEWSLETTER:
Norman H:
Laura, I’m so enjoying these emails, keeping up with your life in Greece, and the wonderful way in which they’re told, that I think you should put them on a blog so more of the world can share.
John T:
All I have to say is... "there would be murders." That is all.
-------
SOME FEEDBACK ABOUT THIS NEWSLETTER:
Norman H:
Laura, I’m so enjoying these emails, keeping up with your life in Greece, and the wonderful way in which they’re told, that I think you should put them on a blog so more of the world can share.
John T:
All I have to say is... "there would be murders." That is all.
Εγγραφή σε:
Σχόλια (Atom)